A Personal Coach Advice on Dealing with Anger

Cecile Peterkin
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Anger is a completely normal and healthy emotion that all of us have from time to time. This kind of emotion allows us to deal with loss, pain, rejections and frustrations. Anger also helps us get what we desperately need, and to achieve things we are truly passionate about. If managed properly, anger can help us become better and more successful individuals.

One unique and admirable trait of successful people is their ability to harness the positive powers of anger. When they feel angry, they become more assertive, focused and even confident. If you want to learn how to turn anger into something really good, here’s what you should do:

1. Accept the fact that being angry is normal and even healthy.

Once you learn to understand that anger is a necessary and natural emotion, you won’t be afraid of it anymore. It is only through this that you may be able to manage its manifestations. And when you can control your anger, you will learn also to express it in a calm and constructive way.

2. Avoid being too self-critical.

There is nothing wrong with being your own critic, but you’ve got to stop it when it starts holding you back from emotional, personal and professional growth. By embracing and fully accepting your imperfections, it will be easier to find ways to become a better individual. Thus, it is important that you view yourself in a more positive way so you’ll be able to achieve more and become happier with your life.

3. Focus on the problem and not the person who may have caused it.

Especially when you’re at work, it becomes all too easy to get mad at the people who you think aren’t performing well enough. But you’ve got to remember that when someone makes a mistake to you, it is very likely that they didn’t intend to do it. So there’s no reason you should hit the roof in anger. We all make mistakes and bad things happen to everyone. While it’s easy to blame others, getting angry at someone won’t make the situation any better.

4. Learn to let go and don’t hold a grudge.

Holding a grudge against anybody won’t take you anywhere and will not make you a better person. In fact, it takes a lot of your energy and causes you to see the world in a negative way. So, one way to live a happier life is to learn to forget after you have forgiven someone.

5. Talk to someone who knows what to say.

If you’re having a really tough time managing your anger, having a personal coach may be necessary. A life coach is someone who will show you all the good things in your life that you should be thankful for and happy about. He or she will make you realize that anger can always be controlled, and even be used to improve the quality of your life.

Hiring a career/personal coach is a rather personal decision.  If you find that you are dealing with any of the issues above, maybe it would be worth it to check out your options.  It's better to hire a coach and work on your anger issues than to allow them to boil over on the job and chance getting fired.


Photo Courtesy of iosphere at FreeDigitalPhotos.net


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  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    @Shannon it is unfortunate that this practice still exists. Doesn't your company ever record calls for auditing purposes? That way your boss could see that you did everything you could to help the customer in resolving their issues. I would seriously consider looking for another job. There will always be customers that are never satisfied no matter what you offer them or what you say. They are going to just continue complaining. Your boss should understand this. If not, then again, I would seriously consider another position or finding a way to work for another person.

  • Shannon Jackson
    Shannon Jackson

    Its really hard for me to understand that you can be nice to your customers but they can call your boss because they aren't getting their way. And then you get fired because your boss doesn't want to hear your side they take the citizens side every time.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson

    @Karen thanks for your comment. I know it's really tough to control your anger - especially when there's an irate customer on the end of the phone. Deep breathing always helped me along with saying something like "thank you - I understand what you are saying. Please give me a second while I check your account.. or check on something" - and then put them on hold for a few seconds - just so that I can get a grip and come back to them with a professional voice and response. It's not ME that they are angry with and I always have to remember that. @Joann - best of luck on your second interview. Just be yourself. That's the best advice anyone can give. Obviously they are impressed if you got called back for a second interview so just continue to be you - be honest - don't try to be cute or anything but straight-forward and professional.

  • Karen Lewis
    Karen Lewis

    When dealing with anger if possible, I walk away for a minute. If not possible I try to smooth things over with the customer with understanding

  • Joann C.
    Joann C.

    i agreee sometimes you need patience. I have to go for a second interview any suggestions? thanks


    i agree i get angry way too much

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